Happy birthday to the child who tested my patience. I think you won because eventually it ran out.
Seriously, finding a gift for you gets harder and harder every year. This year I’ve finally found the best one yet: nothing. Happy birthday!
I wouldn’t trade you for the world. Well, maybe if the price is right! At any rate, happy birthday, son!
It’s hard to believe you’re an adult. Especially since you still whine like a baby! Happy birthday, son.
Since you’re an adult now, does that mean you can now pay us back for all the expenses you’ve incurred during childhood?
Happy birthday! Party hard, but not too hard — I hear hangovers get worse with age.
I suppose it’s too late to return you to sender, right? OK, I guess I’ll keep you! Happy birthday!
May all your birthday wishes come true — except the illegal ones. Happy birthday!
Happy birthday to the person who couldn’t wait to be an adult. How does it feel now?
I should be the one getting presents today. After all, I’m the one who gave you life! Happy birthday!
Happy birthday! You’re one in a melon.
Who said cake isn’t a food group? It is on your birthday — so, enjoy!
Congrats on another year of managing to keep yourself alive!
